Training Manual > 10 - Groups > Relationship Issues
Relationship Issues
One of the most challenging issues for the mediator in the group context is that of effectively dealing with emotional and relational issues in a way that supports personal safety and does not threaten the group's ability to also effectively deal with the many substantive issues before them. While the mediator may be tempted to want to exclusively focus on the substantive issues in need of resolution and ignore past-focused emotional/relational issues, the problem with doing this is that these emotional/relational issues will tend to contaminate the group's attempt at reaching substantive agreement if they are ignored. In fact, there will be a tendency for the group's substantive agreement to become, consciously or unconsciously, a symbolic representation of the unresolved emotional/relational issues from the past if these issues are not directly expressed. Still, how can the mediator support such expression in a way that does not threaten the groups substantive progress. One option is to have a private feedback process in which participants are supported to be able to send personal messages to other participants, either anonymously or with the sender identified. The mediator may want to suggest that such messages be given first to him or her and that the mediator's office will then type and deliver all such messages to ensure confidentiality and anonymity, to the extent that is desired. This type of process can allow for desirable direct communication of past-based feelings and perspectives in a safe way that can provide an effective catharsis without threatening the group's substantive efforts. Some groups will, however, resist this type of confidential/anonymous messaging system, believing that participants should own their communications. Thus, some groups may prefer to require personal identification.
Whatever the process, it is critical that the mediator be able to separate any and all past-focused emotional/relational communications from future-focused substantive problem-solving. The mediator can help participants to identify the nature of their contribution and insist that emotional/relational communications be delivered as such and separately from the group's best efforts to reach substantive agreement.
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